Sir Real is a Knight who discovered his feelings during the Covid lockdown after being put on furlough and has since gone onto exchange his sword for a litter picker, follow his heart and leave the patriarchy.

Sir Real has been seen on the streets of Nottingham, litter picking and dancing to cheesy music, eating cheese cake and protecting the public from fluffy dogs.

He will soon be gracing the stage to tell the story of his transformation and bring us to the sad but truthful reality that there is no knight in shining armour coming to save us, after all, he’s probably too busy saving himself.

“In our heart, we all have our own courageous knight, ever ready to set off on a new quest.”

Gianni Rodari, Don Quixote